Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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