Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
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