I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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