You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
