Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well I can't set my house on fire every night
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
