Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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