is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
