can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
