I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Randomize
