Pappa wants mamma naked
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so let's talk penis.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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