how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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