lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
