i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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