homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize