i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize