Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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