She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
