i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Even my vagina gasped.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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