There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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