Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
