Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
