Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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