Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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