its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
