My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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