Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
