I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Are we still banned from the library?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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