It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
