I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
