Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
