I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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