I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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