dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize