I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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