it's great music for shaving your balls
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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