NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize