You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
