Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
