She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
