He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Randomize
