Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Mom said you looked used
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
