She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
