That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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