I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
