I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
