All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
