So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Randomize
