OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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