Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Never underestimate the power of titties
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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