i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
