My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
My breasts were aching with rage.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
