Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
