so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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