Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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