Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
