I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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