It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
