They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Can you bring me the toilet please
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
