No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
