You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize