We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
