It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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