just come out here and I will go home with you...
Pants 0. Shit 1.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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