YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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