I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
