sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
