Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
