Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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