My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
