I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
