Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
