Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
