didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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