Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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