So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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