I hate all girls vehemently.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
