I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
